To quote those children who could have benefited from a bit more adult supervision, “Christmas time is here…” and while I know we’re all stoked to see family and spend time with loved ones we may not see often, you can’t deny that constantly being around family is only possible with adapting your lifestyle and walking on eggshells. Here are some things you should be extra careful about – good luck and happy holidays!
1. Being forced to wear actual clothing.
We have all walked around in our underwear or at least sported the half-clothed look in our own place. But walking down the stairs in just your bra and boxers to greet your parents eating breakfast? Nope. That will be scarring.
2. Having to watch your favorite non-parent friendly shows on your laptop and with headphones.
No more watching True Blood, Game of Thrones, or God forbid – Scandal on your out in the open TV. Even if your family does have DVR, it’s usually better to watch all shows with the potential for awkward family moments in the privacy of your own bedroom. With the door locked. With headphones plugged into the laptop.
3. Not being able to watch any of your regular programming.
Your parents have their own weekly schedule and you know, they’re letting you use their laundry machines, eat their food, and waste their electricity so you kinda have to give them this one.
4. Feeling even more like a waste of space when you don’t do your dishes right away.
When you live alone if you don’t immediately wash your dishes after eating mac and cheese, it doesn’t affect anyone; you don’t care that you are a slob with better things to do than wash dishes. But once you’re back home and your parents see dishes in the sink, be prepared for a “How do you possibly live on your own if you can’t handle these few dishes” lecture.
5. Being succumbed to embarrassing childhood photos hung on your house’s walls.
We all have them. And they’re dreadful. Having to view your school pictures in chronological order from kindergarten to eighth grade whenever you climb the stairs is definitely a form of cruel and unusual punishment.
6. Whenever your phone gets a text or some social media notification, having to explain who you are talking to instead of your family.
“Who on earth is texting you at 11:30 at night?”
“Is that your ‘friend’ too?”
“…no. That’s my Twitter.”
“Why bother coming home at all if you’re not even going to try to socialize with your family?!”
7. Not being able to eat whatever you want whenever you want.
What? I have to have a real meal with a main course and side dishes? Sitting down at a table?
8. Having to use dishes when eating.
What? I have to use real plates and actual silverware? I can’t use stand in front of the fridge and eat out of jars and tupperware containers?
9. Constantly being afraid of them overhearing something private.
Skyping with a friend? Be sure to use those handy-dandy headphones. This isn’t your personal confidential apartment fortress you’re used to. There are other people in this house. People yearning for information about your life.
10. Sleeping in a foreign bed that is most likely less comfortable than the one you regularly sleep in each night.
Of course you made the foolish decision to take your bed with you when you left home, so now you’re stuck with some secondhand mattress they picked up at the church’s garage sale for the guest bedroom. Good luck falling asleep without your usual pillow arrangement, familiar sheets, and blankets.
11. Dodging all the people from your high school you have no desire to run into.
But there’s only like four things to do while you’re in town. So you might as well run into them at the bar instead of the grocery store, mall, or movie theater because at least at the bar you’ll have alcohol.