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The Midwest vs the East Coast.

Today, the Smartphoneless-person was headed to a school on the UES to pick up two young children and bring them home. This family, being a part of the nanny agency, was on the privileged side… There is, however, a range to the families that belong to the agency:

There are families who have three boys, 6, 8, and 10, all sleeping in one bedroom and sharing a bathroom. Then there are families who consist of a mom, dad, twin newborns, and a baby boy… all in a one-bedroom apartment… with a house on Long Island of course.

This particular family, however, was far above and beyond the upper classiness of any other family the Smartphoneless-person had been to as of yet. Their apartment, complete with a doorman, four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a dishwasher, in-unit washer dryer, and a separate walled off section just for an au pair, and windows that looked down on the American Museum of Natural History, was literally steps away from Central Park—aka VERY WEALTHY.

These particular children are the definition of glutinous and greedy—the portions of dinner they were given could have fed a large calf (and of course, after they were fed, there was no food left for the Smartphoneless-person).

They were always allowed dessert.

They only drank carbonated water.

Their rooms were overflowing with toys, not to mention the au pair’s room was also stuffed with toys and, oh wait, so was their playroom. They were always boasting about how many toys they had and how they had so many stuffed animals in their beds they could barely sleep in them anymore.

They were not allowed to go on the subway, because it was too dangerous.

They had a framed photo of President Obama in their living room… with them posing next to him.

They took a vacation to Disney World every year.

They had a cleaning lady …. and another nanny …. and an au pair.

You get the idea, these kids are spoiled times a million.

After bringing the children back to their mansion, everyone sat down to get some homework accomplished.

The boy, age 8, was reading his “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” book out loud for his assignment, while the Smartphoneless-person helped the girl, age 6, with her math homework.

Girl, “Who made math?”

Smartphoneless-person, “I am actually not sure, we would have to look that up.”

Girl, “Well look it up then, I want to know.”

Smartphoneless-person, “I can’t look it up, I don’t have my computer with me.”

Girl, “Use your phone. I want to know now.”

Smartphoneless-person, “I can’t use my phone, you have to have a special phone that can use the Internet, and I don’t have one. We can wait until your mom comes home and then maybe we can look it up on her iPad. Lets just finish this page first.”

Girl, “You don’t have Internet on your phone? But [names of their other nanny and their au pair get inserted here] can look stuff up for me on their phones when I tell them to.”

Smartphoneless-person, “I am sorry, I don’t have that kind of a phone. We have to wait until your mom comes home.”

At this point, the girl sets down her math book, puts on an incredibly pained and concerned face, turns directly toward the Smartphoneless-person and in all seriousness says the following, and I KID YOU NOT:

“Are you poor?”

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