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When the desperation of a Smartphoneless-person goes too far.

On this particular day, our favorite Smartphoneless-person was headed to her new job of working as an on-call nanny for a prestigious nanny agency on the Upper East Side. As an on-call nanny, 20-something-year-olds are texted or emailed or called with the information of a family who needs some sort of emergency back-up care for the possible reasons below:

– The child is sick

– The child is pretending to be sick

– The parents forgot which parent was supposed to be watching their child and they both made plans

– The child’s bad behavior has led them to be told by the school that they cannot come that day

– The current nanny is sick

– The current nanny has a dentist appointment

– The current nanny quit and now the family is scrambling to figure something out

– The parents wish to run errands without their child tagging along

– The parent works from home in the back office, while you keep their child away from them in the front hall (this never works—the kid is very aware of the fact that the parent has indeed not left, but is playing a very intense game of hide-and-seek with them)

And my personal favorite:

– The mom is a stay-at-home-mom with one child and a husband who works. This family currently has two nannies during the week. This mom is pregnant with another child and wants a third nanny to come on the weekends in addition to possibly helping the first two nannies during the weekdays. Conclusion? This mom clearly does not want children nor wants to have any contact with her children … so tell me, why are you pregnant?

I digress.

On this particular day, our Smartphoneless-person was rushing to get to an on-call job after receiving a text the night before that the child had pink eye and was staying home from school. After never meeting the child, the parents, or seeing their apartment or neighborhood, the Smartphoneless-person hops on a few subways to get to the UES on time.

Of course, the Smartphoneless-person wrote down the address and printed out GoogleMap directions… none of which helped when getting off at the wrong subway stop.

After internally freaking out that the Smartphoneless-person would be lost forever and get a terrible review and then never get requested again and in turn get fired from the agency, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Somehow, at this time of the day, there was no one to be found outside except for a very dirty old man who was singing next to the entrance to the subway stop. Instead of continuing to look for a more normal smelling human being, the Smartphoneless-person decided that she needed to ask this particular man for help.

In exchange for asking for directions, the Smartphoneless-person had to give this very friendly homeless person money.

85 cents to be exact.

The Smartphoneless-person later realized how dumb she had been and what a silly situation she had gotten herself into.

However, that $.85 was the best $.85 she had ever spent, and the most clear and precise directions she had ever received from a New Yorker in the three months she had lived there.

Come back next Wednesday for Tales of the Smartphoneless (Part 3)!